Before we set out I was a bit skeptical. Not worried, but I just wondered about driving around random middle-of-nowhere places in South Africa. What would happen? I had seen a movie called White Wedding at the African Film Festival in New York, that was about a not-so-dissimilar road trip around South Africa. And strange things happened to the people in that movie.

But luckily, in real life, all we experienced on that trip were niceness and kindness. We did find ourselves in sparsely inhabited areas some nights. And one night, in the middle of the Drakensberg mountains, it did happen that we couldn’t find a single hotel or B&B to spend the night at that had availability. Finally quite late at night, thanks to our car’s GPS guide we found a lodge that had space according to the guy who answered the phone. When we drove up to the gate he was waiting for us; he got in his car and we followed him for about 10 minutes through a desolate area. The lodge was a big rustic wood and glass construction, with rooms to sleep probably about 30 people. Except we were the only people in that entire place. The man showed us around and then left saying he’d be back in the morning with milk, eggs, etc. It was pitch dark outside, a moonless night – all we could see were millions of stars in the night sky.

It would have been quite magical, but because we had no clue where we had ended up (our phones had no signal there, so no googling or emergency phone calls), we felt a bit paranoid. The place had no locks, not on the front door, nor in the rooms – anyone could walk in. So despite having that massive lodge to ourselves and being told by the host that we could take whichever rooms we wanted to, we decided to all sleep together in a room that had 4 bunkbeds. For the first time in my adult life, I slept with my sister and my parents all in the same room.

Lying in bed in that huge cabin, surrounded by darkness and god-knows-what, I started imagining that maybe the skinny harmless-looking man was really like the Anthony Perkins character from Psycho, and we’d be murdered that night. I shared my theory with my family; they shushed me, we all giggled in the dark, but eventually they got  bit nervous too. I piled our little luggage pieces up against the door to block him, or at least be woken up by the noise of the crashing pieces when he’d try to come in. At some point during the night I finally fell asleep.

When we woke up, it was soon after dawn, roosters were crowing. I pulled open the curtain by my bed in the top bunk, and for the first time could see where we were. We were in a valley, there were hills around us and a river in the distance. Mist was rising from the ground, and there was a beautiful dreamy quality in the air. There were 4 little circular white-walled houses with thatched roofs behind our lodge. I could see horses grazing in the distance. It was just unbelievably beautiful. We all got up to check out this suddenly transformed magical place. Our host showed up with fresh eggs, bread, and milk. We chatted with him, marveled at his thoughtfulness and kindness. The simple breakfast we made that day, that we ate sitting in the cold lodge with beautiful warm light streaming in through the giant glass windows everywhere – is now lodged in my memory forever.

We had a not-completely-imaginary close call with death another evening. We were doing our own self-guided safari in our little car by ourselves in Kruger National Park. Since we weren’t with any group or guide, we underestimated the time it would take to get back to our lodge before night set and it would be unsafe to drive. It was getting dark and all of a sudden we saw a herd of wild elephants approaching. My sister stopped the car since they were clearly intending to cross the road where we were. When you’re in a little car, surrounded by elephants, suddenly you realize how truly massive they are, and how tiny you are in comparison; and even the car you now realize is no protection, it could easily be crushed with no problem. There were elephants in front of our car, behind our car, on the side, and more kept joining them. My mom and I thought we were surely about to die; sitting in the back seat, we squeezed each other’s hands and begged my sister to please start the car and drive. My conservationist scientist sister stayed calm and unperturbed. She said there was nothing to do but wait, and predicted the elephants would probably get bored with us after a while and leave. And that’s exactly what ended up happening.

The South Africa road trip was full of surprises. It was one of my best vacations ever. We met many and all kinds of people. Because our cell phones didn’t work in most places, we were forced to figure out things the old fashioned way, without google, relying on human interaction. And random strangers everywhere were kind and helpful. Restrooms along the highway were the cleanest I’ve seen in any country ever – totally spotless. The country itself was utterly lovely. Perhaps it was the route we took, but it was beautiful almost everywhere we went.

The other thing that made the trip especially special – it was the last trip we did as a family. It was the last vacation with my mom. She was diagnosed with cancer 4 months later, then she passed away a year and half later. Life has never been the same since. It was a time of innocence still; we argued as close families tend to do especially when you’re together 24×7 in a car for days, arguing without thinking is this the last time, will you be gone in a few hours possibly… We had fun, we laughed and joked and talked about endless things. We all loved each other, beyond anything in the world. And we were together being driven around this country my by sister in a little car.

So, it was a wonderful time. Cape Town where my sister lived, was gorgeous. She had good groups of friends, I could see myself moving there one day… We went wine tasting in lovely Franschhoek, wandered around the starkly beautiful cape region, lunched in beautiful ocean-side towns, brunched on the mountain overlooking Cape Town, braaii’d at her friend’s houses, ate at weekend food markets, went to what I still think is the most beautiful simple unpretentious little restaurant in the world, where I had the sensation of being in the ocean itself… It was all amazing.

And along the way I discovered a South African dish that I loved, and that I’ve been cooking since at home over the years. Called bobotie, it’s South Africa’s national dish. The origins are as complicated as South Africa is, with Malay/Dutch roots. It’s a savory meat custard – that sounds odd, but it really is quite fantastic. Bobotie is ground meat with light curry flavor, with bits of apricot preserve so it’s slightly sweet while savory, baked with milk and eggs, and mashed bread to hold it all together. The meat is tender and moist, and the dish is soft like a  custard in texture.

Some places in South Africa cook it so it’s very very sweet – I don’t like it overly sweet and sticky, so I use only a little bit of apricot preserve. If you don’t have apricot preserve, you could substitute some other sweetish preserve – I’ve made it sometimes with ginger preserve, and even sweet mild mango chutney. The preparation is quite easy, and it smells wonderful while it bakes. It’s delicious served hot. Eat it with rice, with a side of chutney, mango pickles, and plain yogurt. It holds well for days so we love it as leftovers too, even eating it cold straight from the fridge.